BREAKING: Our Intern Is Being Forced Into A Hunger Strike Until Twitter Lifts Our Ban



CHICAGO—In accordance with the fantastic print in his contract, The Onion’s intern Sam Kotson was pressured right into a starvation strike Thursday, a protest that may proceed till Twitter lifts our ban. “As of this morning, our low-level unpaid intern will probably be forcibly compelled to forgo all meals till Twitter ends its malignant…

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